The Fear Factor
What is fear?
What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about FEAR or the fear factor? Most people think fear is a bad thing. Fear is for the weak. It is for those who are not confident, for those who don’t have what it takes.
There are two kinds of fear driving human behaviour:
- FEAR OF NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH.
- And FEAR OF NOT BEING LOVED.
Fear of not being good enough has been in our DNA since the beginning. Fear was a way of life for our ancestors. If they didn’t use their fear constructively, they would be killed. Even though we don’t have to hunt things to stay alive today, that primal fear of not being good enough is still inside us.
That fear prevents us from taking action. It stops us from trying, from making progress. That deep-rooted ancestral fear is a blessing and a curse. Instead of allowing that fear to exist as a roadblock to progress, use it to fuel the FIRE that drives you to take action.
The second fear, the fear of not being loved, may have started with Adam and Eve. When they were in the Garden of Eden, they took a bite of that apple… and disconnected themselves from the source, from God. This created a belief that they were not loved because of the GUILT and SHAME they felt inside.
We walk around with this notion in our minds and no matter what we do, we are not good enough. No matter what we say, we aren’t going to be loved. We try to please people so we can be loved. We try to be the best parents, the best husbands, the best business owners but then it is never good enough because we have a belief we are not loved. Those two fears are guiding our lives and everything we do.
Ask yourself – what have those two fears done for you? What have those two fears sabotaged in your life? As I coach my son to run his own business, I am teaching him how to use those fears to fuel his success.
If you use those fears correctly, you’re going to try harder. You will still believe that you are not good enough for the man you are becoming tomorrow, and not good enough for the person that you are supposed to be in five to ten years… because the game is all about expansion. The game is about making progress. Your job is not to be the best today. Your job is to make progress – realising you will never be good enough to beat that FEAR.
You have to become ONE with that primal fear. Not everyone is going to love you and not everyone is going to praise you. The main person you have to love and be one with is YOURSELF. You have to honour YOU. You have to listen to your inner voice that says, “I don’t give a fuck what other people think. I know who I am. I am not perfect, but I am a work in progress.” That progress is the FEAR FACTOR that is going to give you the EDGE.
If you can be one with the voice telling you that you are not good enough, the one telling you that not everyone is going to love you, you will have CERTAINTY in knowing deep down Who the fuck you are.
Audio Source: Sound Cloud